Thursday, August 26, 2010

Key Airport/Travel Tips

When traveling you might want to stay off the plane as long as possible, maybe because you claustrophobic, or maybe because you just want to enjoy as much time as possible on your laptop, reading your paper, or just enjoy some good ole natured people-watching. But if you wait too long, as I did this morning, you'll find that the plane's overheard compartment may run out of room and you may find yourself having to get your carry-on in the next city at baggage claim.

So the key here is to chill at the gate in moderation. As soon as half to three-quarters of the passengers have boarded, this should be your cue to get goin.

The next tip for you comes by way of energy. I pride myself on finding value at the airport, largely because the shops beyond the security zone make convenience store' inflated prices seem like bottom-dollar discounts at Walmart. In addition to the outrageous prices, variety seems to take a hit, and shocking as it may be in a nation leading the world in obesity, many of the caffeinated supplements on sale do not come in sugar-free. So instead of having to shell out $4-5 for a $1.50 monster, and on top of that having to drink spoonfuls of simple sugars, you can walk over to most coffee shops and order a double espresso for about $2. With your espresso, you can get 2-3 splendas and a dash of either milk or soy - and you're good to go!

The final tip (if you're a hulking Beast like yours truly) is try and save some money in your flight arrangements. A stupid twenty minute connecting flight from Lansing to Detroit can easily add $75-$300 to your flight expenses. If you live in Lansing, Jackson, or Ann Arbour, you can hop on the Michigan Flyer (a coach bus service that includes complimentary WiFi and comfy reclining seats) for $30 each way (or $50 round trip if you buy online and traveling out of E.L.).

And of course, never book directly w/ the airline -- always check your Orbitz, Travelocity, and Expedia type websites first. The billboard for are in most cases a royal joke; you're not going to save any more money than with the aforementioned sites. Also try and take all your stuff as carry-ons. Any trips of ten days or less, you shouldn't be packing the kitchen sink.

Also, if you want some good laughs, play a porn movie on your computer (minimizing the window) and just sit there amongst folks in the gate awaiting to board. I find it very amusing, especially since people with long faces generally bring me down. Hearing a twenty year old cheerleader going nuts in my ears makes me smile even at the ugliest grunter in the section, and eventually people will smile too. Porn brings people together and makes people smile -- you heard it here first!

This espresso is damn good. I might just get another doublebefore heading to the coach, perhaps even take some supplements. I can't wait to get to Gym Bumz tonight and do legs. I miss the squat rack, I miss the leg press, I miss the tanner, I miss the parking lot, I miss the front door, I miss the protein shakes!!! I want to Go Workout.. lol